The Dynamic of Setting Ourself Up for Failure
At the end of every year, we come up with one thing we’ve failed at, over and over, year after year, and declare we want to conquer it, be done with it once and for all.
Our resolution—one we’ve no doubt made many times before―likely has more to do with the person we think we
should be rather than with who we really are. We gear up for the approaching deprivation by binging in the opposite direction right up ‘til December 31, and when the clock strikes midnight―voilà―we expect ourself to quit some decade-long habit or pattern cold turkey.
Who are we kidding?
If we stopped and thought about it honestly, we’d have to ask ourself, “Do I really want to succeed here?” Whether our resolution is to eat better, stop drinking or smoking, make more money, exercise regularly, write that novel, meet our soul mate, our expectation that we’re all of a sudden going to drop our counterproductive patterns and magically become the person we
should be is one of the great ways we sabotage ourself.
It’s about time we stop fooling even ourselves.
Really.
Really!
This is what I propose
Let’s make this January
the month we consciously decide to update ourself, starting from our heart’s desire, so that we’re not picking a tired goal from the past or one out of the blue. We are actually picking a goal that will support our heart’s desire and our being happy. And when we are happy, it’s easier to get what we want.
OUT (the goals only)
Making a million dollars. Writing a book. Losing weight.
IN (the heart’s desire)
Wanting to wake up every morning not having to worry about money. Wanting to share our experience with the world. Wanting to be healthy and fit so that we can even climb Mount Everest.
Example
If your heart’s desire is to spend more time with your family, you may arrive at the conclusion that you want to make more money in fewer hours. You might execute strategies to make your company more profitable if you own your business; you might upgrade your education to score a better-paying position; you might take a specialized course to expand your skills. You would choose to do whatever it takes to be the person who makes more money in less time so that you can spend more of your time with your family.
Do you see how that differs from saying “I need to make a million dollars”? When you are fuelled by your heart’s desire, you are creative, you are passionate, and you can easily be the person who gets what you want.
You will have to take my word for this
I talk to a lot of people I don’t know, I have a lot of clients with whom I have been working for years, I have many friends of different ethnic backgrounds, and yet we all share this tendency: when we focus only on the goal, we don’t look at the Big Picture. What I’ve noticed is that if we equally focus on ourself, the journey, and the goal, then and only then will we achieve our goals with greater ease and fulfillment. In fact, all my clients who regularly invest their time in updating their heart’s desire, and defining goals based on that, actually reach all their goals.
This is the plan
Take the month of January to invest in yourself and reassess all your priorities, your values, and your desired experience. Determine who you are in the present and what Big Picture would make you happy. Set February 1st as the date you will make a new resolution for yourself, or, if you follow my method below, you may achieve your goals based on your heart’s desire
before February 1st.
The Get What You Want Method
I have created this method for people like you, who want to lead an intentional life and be awake every moment of it. My book
30 DAYS TO A NEW YOU: Get What You Want Through Authentic Change walks you through an illuminating yet practical process to determine who you really are, what your heart’s desire is, and how you’re going to reach it. The book is a manual and a workbook; you may download, for free, the workbook pages from my website, so that you can work on them on your computer. I have just completed designing the
Get What You Want E-Course, based on the teachings in the book―an interactive e-course that will take you even deeper in your self-assessment. The
30 Days book and e-course are independent tools that will get you the results you want; in conjunction, they will accelerate your journey.
Why February 1, 2009?
True to my Luna lover nature, February 1, 2009 is the first day of the waxing crescent moon. It’s the perfect time to start new projects and to set yourself up for success. Let go of the pressure to set a goal for January 1st; instead, commit to getting to know yourself, so that you can become the person who gets what you want.
Has Your Formula Worked? Then Try Mine!
If you have failed over and over with your New Year’s resolutions, try something else. Give yourself the gift of getting to know yourself and setting goals based on your heart’s desire. February 1st, the crescent moon―the perfect time to reflect about what you sincerely want and to decide to go for it. There is no expiration date on getting what you want.
May 2009 be the year you choose success!
Love,
Monica
The
Get What You Want Coach
