Reaching Goals

What Monica Says (seriously!)

I am so thrilled to announce that my new book, 30 DAYS TO A NEW YOU: Get What You Want Through Authentic Change,is officially out and available in various stores. I am so excited about this book! It is the most results-oriented book I have written; it has so radically changed my life for the better that I am very happy you are even just reading this article. You will get results simply by reading this short article below!

REACHING GOALS IS EASY. PERIOD.
THANK YOU, that is all I want to say! MY SPEECH IS FINISHED.

Seriously, reaching goals is easy. All it takes is to know yourself—this is the groundbreaking concept. What happens most of the time, however, is this:

We define a goal—we define it in such detail—and then we focus only and exclusively on the goal, and our entire life and energy and world is almost gobbled up by the goal. Nothing else matters; there is only the goal. We become obsessed about it; we have the laser-pointer perspective, which is focused ONLY on the goal. This becomes our life, and THE GOAL is all we see.

What I am saying is that if you focus ONLY on the goal, you are not focusing HERE, on yourself, and guess what? YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WILL REACH THAT GOAL. So, to get there, to reach your goals, you have to broaden your perspective to a vision that includes with equal measure:

Because to get to ANY destination, you need to pay equal attention to the starting point and the journey as well as the goal. The same applies when you go on a long driving trip: on a map, you locate your starting and ending points, then CONSCIOUSLY choose the sequence of roads in between. If you MapQuest your trip, you enter the starting and ending points, and CONSCIOUSLY choose which journey—the shorter one or perhaps the panoramic one!—you want to follow to get there.



In my book 30 DAYS TO A NEW YOU, you will do exactly that: you will define your goals based on your heart’s desire (the destination), and then you will get to know yourself—who you are in THIS moment (the starting point)—so that you can be the person who you want to be to achieve your goals with fulfillment. That is what promises a smooth journey.

30 DAYS TO A NEW YOU will support you in delineating these three basic starting points essential to reaching any goal and completing any project:

1. Define and resize the goal coming from your heart’s desire, so that you are fuelled by passion.
2. Get to know yourself without drama, past stories, and self-judgment, so that you can make the correct assessment of yourself in the present.
3. Decide every next step aligned in integrity with your values, so that the journey toward any goal is smooth and motivated by conscious choices.

What do I mean about the correct assessment of yourself in the present? What are goals motivated by your heart’s desire? How does passion fuel the journey? A smooth journey—is that possible?

The Goals
What do I mean by “define the goals based on your heart's desire”? Well, often we declare goals that are self-imposed by our rational mind rather than generated by our passion and heart’s desire. For example, does this sound familiar:

• I am 30. My goal is to get married.
• I am 40. I should have a bigger house.
• I am 35. I should be writing a book.

And on and on and on.

      These might be good goals; however, they don’t come from our deepest passion or heart’s desire, and every time a goal is motivated by a “should,” it isn’t expressing a deeper part of us.

      Now read the same goals motivated by the heart’s desire rather than the rational mind. Can you see the difference?

• I am 30. I feel so happy and excited about who I am in this moment that I am ready to share my life with a partner.
• I am 40. I am so passionate about making good money with my work that I want to build a bigger house because I love designing a perfect place for myself and my family.
• I am 35. I feel so empowered by what I have to say that I want to write a book to share my knowledge with the world.
• These are essentially the same goals; however, the motivation is different. Who do you think will have a better chance of reaching their goals?

      
      When the goal comes from a rational thought, you will have a much harder time achieving it, because your passion is the fuel that will make you jump over mountains or swim across oceans to get what you want.

It works better if YOU define the goal from your heart’s desire, rather than the goal defines you.

Remember, it’s ALWAYS about the 3

YOU    THE JOURNEY      THE GOAL


Focus On Knowing Yourself

Let’s now go back and focus on yourself. Having the correct assessment of yourself is to carefully update yourself, your beliefs, your values, and notice your circumstances so that the journey to the goal is SMOOTH. Who are you in the present?

• What do you like?
• What are your strong points?
• What works best for you?
• What would be the best schedule for you with your family situation?

                              For example, looking for a new job when you have kids composes a different “you” than when you looked for a new job and didn’t have kids. To make our updated assessment, we have to let go of self-judgment and drama. We want to become discerning adults who can choose from a place of Observing and determine the best choices for us in this moment to achieve our goals.

      We often think that success is a random circumstance we play very little part in. We have to recognize that, in fact, we are the creator of our life.

      How to make the Correct Assessment of yourself: YOU – (drama + self-judgment) + present circumstances = getting to know yourself for who you are in the moment = CA

      YOU with CA = making appropriate choices = smooth journey = reaching the goals

      Creating an intentional life is about knowing yourself deeply and then making powerful choices that serve your goals—and then holding yourself accountable for your choices.

      Having the correct assessment of yourself is also to take a look at what needs to be put in place by you so that you can get to the goal with ease. Again, it’s about investing some time in knowing yourself and knowing what infrastructure bests supports your reaching that goal with ease.

      How about a practical example—an easy one we can all relate to: Let’s say you want a job that pays more; your children are a bit older, so you want to shift from a part-time to a full-time job. The goal becomes a full-time job in which you can express your ability and expertise and make more money. The question to ask yourself is:

      Who do I need to be to reach that goal more easily, and what infrastructure do I need to put in place so that I can accept that job?

      Bring the focus back onto yourself and the CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES IN YOUR LIFE so that you can design the starting point:

• Do you need supervision at home?
• Who picks up the kids?
• Who makes the meals and does the shopping?

                                                                 Then assess if you need to update your education, your résumé, etc.—that is part of knowing yourself and making the correct assessment of yourself.

      Then assess what you are good at and not so good at.

      If you apply for a job that has all that you want, though you don’t have the proper résumé, the proper attitude, the proper skills, the proper situation at home, you will miss out on the GOAL.

This is what it means to be intentional and what it means to equally focus on you, the journey, and the goal and to be the maker of your own destiny.

Let’s now talk about the subtitle of my book, “Get What You Want Through Authentic Change.” What is authentic change?

Authentic change is a natural shift that occurs when we live an intentional life. When we have the correct assessment of ourself, we can naturally and easily change into who we WANT to be to reach our goals.

      For example, we know that when we are well rested, we have better days at the office and it’s easier to close deals. Being intentional would be to choose to get 8 or 9 hours of sleep before a big day—no excuses. This means you might have to change your habit of watching TV until late, because YOU KNOW THAT IT DOESN’T WORK before a big day.

       So, you authentically change into the person you want to be by intentionally doing that person’s behaviours, taking that person’s actions, so that you can reach your goals. ISN’T THAT EASY?

      We have so many beliefs—change is difficult, changing is wrong, we are who we are once and for all—that are so limiting and not even ACCURATE.

Our innate capacity as humans is actually to change rather than to stay the same. Without even thinking about it, we change naturally from second to second. Imagine if we applied consciousness and intentionality to the process!

      We are multifaceted human beings—we are powerful and powerless; we are happy and unhappy; we succeed and we fail—and we can choose to embrace all that we are. When we become discerning adults who have a deep understanding of ourself, our weaknesses as well as our capacities, we can design our life according to what we want, rather than leave it up to random circumstances. It’s only when we don’t spend the time to get to know ourself that we become a victim of our circumstances, often letting others decide for us who we are. If we know we are not good in math, we choose to not be an accountant, no matter what anyone else says.

      Our success lies in our happiness, not because happiness is the end result of success (“I will be happy when dot-dot-dot”); rather, when we are pursuing our heart’s desire, we are happy. And when we are happy, feeling positive and fulfilled in the moment, we more effectively, powerfully, choose actions that accelerate us toward our goals.

      If you come away from this presentation with one concept, let it be this one. You are the creator of your own life and happiness; you have infinite power to get what you want and to be the person you want to be to be happy and fulfilled. Choose YOU, get to know yourself without judgment, and continuously update what you know about yourself without drama and self-judgment. By doing this, you will trust yourself and never doubt yourself, and you will reach all your goals.

Can you imagine what your life will be like when you become the person who gets what you want with ease and flow?

• What is your goal?
• What is your heart's desire?

Start today, in 30 days, you can have it: the decision is yours. Be the person who walks YOU to your goals. If it will take longer than 30 days to reach this goal, in 30 days you will be able to transform into the person who can take you to your goal, to any goal.

If you follow the steps, in 30 days you will be there. I am proof of that: I was told over and over that, because English is not my first language, I couldn’t write a book. Well, I am here before you with three books published!

Get to know yourself. Get what you want.