We talk a lot about self-esteem, yet most of us still have a hard time believing in ourselves. Why is that?
Take a friend of mine—an amazing person, low-key and understated, in tune with his goals and successful at carving out a good position for himself in the world. A friend first, he became a client, one I believed in sincerely—and I told him so. He didn’t believe in himself, and he became annoyed at the tangible proof I gave him of his awesomeness. He thought I was just being a cheerleader, and eventually he quit the coaching.
He got me thinking. Why are we so good at supporting others and seeing their good qualities, while at the same time being so hard on ourselves? Crazy, right?
Let’s look at you. What does self-confidence look like for you? Where is your self-esteem? Do you believe in YOU?
I am going to come clean and tell you that I have often been the victim of my own lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. Even now, after years of coaching, I can receive a compliment and wonder, “Are you sure you are talking about me?” How often has that happened to you?
How can you increase your self-confidence and self-esteem by believing in YOU?
What does self-confidence look like for you?
It helps to define self-confidence in a tangible way so that you know when you have it and when you don’t. Finish the sentence, “I am confident when I feel . . . (invincible? rewarded? excited? alive? calm?)” Fill in the blank with as many attributes as you want. Remember that these feelings can work alone or in combination. You might have a better chance at getting in touch with your confidence if you think of them in combination.
Where is your self-esteem?
We all know when our self-esteem is high and when it is low. When you hear praise and wonder if it is really about you, you are having a hard time believing you are a game-changer. Go ahead and embrace that part of you that is in shock at hearing about your achievements, and be aware of your limitations. Then embrace—really embrace—the real YOU who is being praised.
Do you believe in YOU?
How do you feel when you doubt yourself? The most important thing about self-doubt is being aware of it. When you are aware of your own self-doubt, you can often laugh about it. The challenge comes when your self-doubt is subconscious. That’s when you get scared and can’t make decisions.
The best thing to do is go straight to the limiting belief that is holding you hostage. Ask yourself, “What is holding me back from believing in myself?” Honestly take stock of your thinking process. Be intentional. By being intentional, you will be able to catch yourself holding back from believing in yourself. Then you can start moving forward in spite of your self-doubt.
Be your own cheerleader—and give yourself a leg up!
Have you noticed how easy it is to support your best friend, a family member, a colleague, when they are stuck and doubting themselves? You put judgment aside and tell them how precious and valued they are and how the world is a better place because of them. Now do that for yourself. Look at yourself from the outside. Embrace yourself, your authenticity, your integrity. Remember that results come to everyone, but it is the journey that is unique to you, as you fully participate in life. So be your own cheerleader, your own best friend. Imagine it was your best friend asking you for support. What would you say? Well, just say that to yourself!
Certified Career Coach Monica Magnetti also offers Professional Life Coaching, Internet Marketing Consulting and Brand Consulting Services. LIKE Luna Coaching Fan Page and leave your comments. Follow Monica on Twitter to stay on target with your goals.